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there's a leak in my heart.i want to be naked in a room with you and only touch your face.
i want to marvel at the pain in your eyes and the choke in your voice, asking me to please, please, don't fade away. your eyelashes become black smoke and i mumble something about falling down.
so desperately do i want to close my eyes, to curl up in a ball and make my life an instrumental. but clinging onto the strings of my soul is a hand formed by thousands of i love yous, and countless feelings of inadequacy. i am not enough for you, and you are not enough for me. there will never be enough in this world for us. we are the disappointed. we are the ones that love with more than just our hearts.
lyrics form from the saliva in my mouth, and i sing them to you without a second thought. i am ashamed of the crack in my voice but you pretend not to even notice, and i squeeze your hand, hoping beyond hope that the calendar has made a terrible, terrible mistake.
i long to fulfill our wild and shadowed dreams, but bursts of gree
routineIllusion, that we share, among all the feelings,
comes together with fear:
to lose somebody, to lose
yourself, to come
to an end
without being a winner. If only
there was the beginning at all.
Somebody dies among these feelings
surrounded by fear -
It is not you
"It is no big deal" - - -
Pointillism.with each and every point
i create a dis.joint.ed image
that cannot be deciphered when you look
my thoughts are the same. you try again and
to decode my logic.
and you will not. full stop.
as each mem-o-ry grows
thinner my hands begin to s ha ke
and if i push down any harder my pen will
i've run out of red. i guess i'll use my blood instead
to make it personal to me.
my conclusion begins when i take the black pen from
a dangerous hallucinationThe light coming through the window was bright,
much too bright.
Even though my eyes were closed
I could see it-
The skin of my arms prickled,
sweat dripped from my brow.
It was two in the afternoon but…
the sun was setting
through the window facing east.
I should have seen the hutch,
shelves lined with bone china
decorated with delicate leaves and vines.
I was so thirsty
and reaching for cups that should have been there.
Instead I found a billboard of butterflies,
the colors raging
more than any rainbow
I'd ever seen.
Their wings fluttered and flashed
yet somehow they moved in slow motion.
I wanted to stand,
wanted to reach out and touch them but…
I couldn't move,
and yet I laughed
ignoring my dry mouth
and the tingling in my feet.
There was a tempest
on the rise
and in my blood.
A sugar rush disguised
as a riot of butterflies
and they were swarming me.
There was a small vial
of insulin in my pocket
that I nev
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More